A frickin' awful Christmas

Jamaine Ross. Supplied.
Alice Kirker, Basement Producer-in-residence. Supplied.
Sam Snedden, Márianne Infánte and Carrie Green. Supplied.
David Correos. Supplied.
From silk boxers to awkward urinal encounters, the cast and crew of The Basement’s Christmas show share their worst-ever Christmas experiences.

Share

Forget the Franklin Road lights or the creepy Queen Street Santa, you know the silly season has officially kicked off in Auckland when The Basement Theatre’s legendary annual Christmas show hits town. 

This year’s offering, A Frickin Dangerous Space-mas was written by comedy trio Pax Assadi, Jamaine Ross and James Roque (AKA Frickin Dangerous Bro) and takes place aboard the International Space Station. The crew are preparing for the announcement of the ship’s new captain when it’s revealed that one member is harbouring a secret that might just mean the end of all mankind.

As is tradition, each night will feature a different surprise guest, with Mike McRoberts, Chloe Swarbrick, Rose Matafeo, Tom Sainsbury and Chris Parker among the celebrities who will appear. All proceeds from the show will go towards funding future productions at The Basement. 

Ahead of the show’s opening, we asked members of the cast, crew and writers to share their worst-ever Christmas experiences with us.

What's the worst Christmas gift you've ever received?

Alice Kirker, Basement Producer-in-Residence
My friends decided to give me a tiny baby rabbit. They surprised me with it and they gave me the rabbit and nothing else - no hutch or food or anything. I had to spend heaps of money getting all the things it needed, and then it ended up being a long-haired rabbit which needed 2 hours of grooming a day! I couldn't look after it properly and I had to surrender it to the SPCA. I lied to all my friends and told them it had gotten a tumour and had to be put down because I felt so guilty. They found out after three years!


Alice Kirker. Supplied.

Sam Snedden, Cast Member
I literally got underpants from my parents one year, silk boxers. They were appalling

Carrie Green, Cast Member
The worst gift I ever received was when I was 8. My dad wrapped up a can of cat food and attached a card that said 'Feed the cat - Love Santa'. I cried heaps.


Sam Snedden, Márianne Infánte and Carrie Green. Supplied.

Tell us about the worst Christmas you've ever had?

Sam Snedden
I remember one year when I was about 18 going out till very late on Christmas Eve, just dragging myself home at 6:30am. I basically spent the whole day sleeping on the couch and being shamed by my family for "ruining it". 

Márianne Infánte, Cast Member
I don’t think I’ve had a ‘worst Christmas’, but for me being family-orientated, not having my loved ones in the same room let alone in the same country is always a little rough.

Jamaine Ross, Writer 
My worst Christmas was in Cromwell with my dad's side of the whanau, and there was a buffet lunch at the hotel, where I ate way too much and that night my butt was not happy. Also, I had to go to the toilet halfway through lunch and some random 3-year-old kid stood next to me at the urinal staring at my junk, so his dad had to stand between us to stop him staring. His dad was physically touching me while I was trying to pee. 


David Correos. Supplied.

David Correos, Cast Member
My first Christmas in Auckland I spent it away from my family, and I felt really alone and made a Christmas tree out of a fly spray and a white chair. But then that evening my friend and great comedian Brendan Kelly let me have Christmas with his family and I got super stoned. 

Alice Kirker
When I was younger, we used to escape Auckland have Christmas in Turangi of all places! The last time we had Christmas down there, I got my period for the first time and it got all over the sheets, and mum had to wash them, and she told the woman who we were renting the bach from - I was so unbelievably embarrassed!

A Frickin’ Dangerous Spacemas runs at Auckland’s Basement Theatre from Friday 22nd November - Friday 20th December. More here.

Rashmi Pilapitiya. Andi Crown Photography.
Story
Rashmi Pilapitiya tracks back to feeling devastated after being let go from a corporate job. She recounts the life-changing conversation that set her on a new path.
Is the sun setting over the arts for Australia's politicians? Image Shutterstock.
Story
Australian politicians respond to the Government's decision to merge the country's arts department into a super Department of Infrastructure, Transport, Regional Development and Communications
Lisa Crawley.
Story
If you could go back and give your 22-year-old self some advice, what would you say? Lisa Crawley has some choice words of wisdom.
Jacinda Ardern at the centre of her newly sworn in cabinet. Image Wikimedia from Governor-General of New Zealand.
Story
As we head towards the 2020 election, our friends at ArtsHub Australia weigh in on the New Zealand Prime Minister, and what her leadership means for the arts.